Blame it to the Quotes

At the age of 27, I can say that I've been through a lot in my life. Some of my friends say that I've been through circumstances that I shouldn't have been through at a very young age. Whenever I hear this kind of comment before, I felt nothing but pity for myself. Whenever someone sympathizes with what I've been through, it made me feel that my self-esteem is draining like water in a pail full of holes on it. I felt bad about myself, and I see an ugly person whenever I see myself in the mirror. I really felt hopeless.

I tried to enjoy with friends. I went out with them and met new friends and in the process, I met people who instead of making me feel better about myself made me feel even worse. Remembering them made me hate almost everyone and it made me question God's intentions in my life. I always knew that life is unfair and it's even more unfair for me. I'm saying this because for me, I have invested a lot of myself to those people but everything that I have invested -time, effort, money, love- were never appreciated.

It came to the point where I no longer go to church. I don't even consider being a part of any religious sect or whatever you may call them. It's not because I don't believe in God but it's just that, I don't feel like being in a place or be with a group where everyone believes that all circumstances that are happening in every person's life is God's will. How can a loving God allow His people to suffer? (That's what I thought).

I believe in God, in all the things that are in the heavens and everything underneath, but I just don't feel like being a part of a what-so-called as religion. I just wanted to be a wanderer in all my spite.

Lately, things change. Maybe I was the one who changed.

About 2 months ago, I was hired as a Virtual Assistant specializing in Social Media. My boss assigned me to get a lot of inspirational and motivational quotes. At first I don't get it. I don't know why I was assigned to do such task when I think I can do more important things, but as an employee, I have to do what I was asked to do. Everyday, I read those notable quotes from different successful people from different fields and reading them everyday shifted my way of thinking. the truth is, I never noticed that my mentality is changing little by little. 

It got into me that life is just a matter of perspective. I just needed a paradigm shift to change the way I feel and I know later on it will change how I run my life. Thanks to my boss, he inspired me check my mindset and correct what needs to be corrected on it. I took his advise that I have to be selective of what I feed my mind, because whatever I feed my mind sinks in my heart and that drives what I feel about myself and how I look at life in general.

Sometimes I have episodes of depression. I remember everything that happened to me. I recall those people who exceptionally hurt me and my being. I remember all the words that brought scars in my heart and in my soul. There are times I cry alone just to vent everything out, but after I cry, it's like there is a release of a heavy luggage. I may have cried but I no longer dwell on it and I no longer feel bad about myself. I no longer pity myself because I know deep within me is a load of strength waiting for the proper time to be unleashed. Another thing is that, maybe I have forgiven myself for allowing unworthy people to bruise who I am. I have already accepted that those events are over and done and there's no use holding any grudge, because whatever hatred I have in my heart kills me, not them.

I have resolved that I will feed myself with positive thoughts to reinforce the person that I am. No more regrets and no more bitterness. In regards to my spirituality, I still consider myself as a wanderer, but, I'm willing to venture so I could believe once again.

Philippine Politics I

Last 2013 election is for me the most disappointing election ever. There had been a widespread campaign for all the citizens of this country to cast their vote wisely, but I guess we are very, very far from having an intelligent vote.

With all honesty, I really do hate Philippine Politics due to these reasons:

I. No Integrity

Have you ever seen a person guilty of crime get elected? Only in the Philippines will you ever see a rapist, a military rebel, a thief, a person guilty of concubinage, guilty of felony, and cheaters get elected in the office. In some countries like Japan and United States, politicians who are dragged in disgraceful circumstances are forced to resign from their post, or worst they tend to commit suicide due to humiliation. Here in the Philippines, such instances are used as publicity. Whether it's negative publicity or positive publicity, it's still publicity and what is bad about this is that, publicity creates them as household names and during elections, it is them whom most of the countrymen remember, thus, they vote for them even if they are good for nothing.

II. The Hideous Mud Sling Shots

Oh this is very common during election period. Everyone throwing a piece of their speech against their opponent and along the way, some act as if they are holier than thou. Again, with all honesty, it's really annoying because everyone's attention is shifted from the political platform to the hottest scoop about the running politician. During election period, a lot of secrets are revealed and a lot of stories are invented, too. This is the time wherein we the ordinary people "discover" the so-called secret transactions, hidden agendas, and the likes. Again, some of them are true and some of them are made up stories. Whether the stories are true or not, some people will believe it. Majority of the people are more interested to the scandalous political lives of the politicians and everyone seems to forget why these people are running for the office. Most of the citizens of this country tend to overlook what is really important which is scrutinizing the agenda of these politicians. The Majority is easy to get entertained by the Zarzuela played by these politicians who are plainly acting for their own benefit.  

III. Lies

Politics in the Philippines is a hyperbole. I think all of them have the potential to become a great script writer or perhaps, the greatest storyteller of all time. Some politicians in the office are not even college graduate; however, I think they have gained their Master's Degree in LYING, CHEATING, and STEALING. I know everyone lies, but then again, this is too much. I am so sick and tires of listening to their empty promises and how they perfectly deliver their speeches during debates. They talk as if they can manage. They talk as if they can deliver, but look at our country now. Like the usual, those are just empty words. I don't know where their promises went to. Perhaps in their pockets? Or is there another Jose Velarde account somewhere?

IV. Political Ads

Only in the Philippines will you ever see a politician dance like crazy or sing like there's no tomorrow in front of their constituents to gain votes. C'mon! Seriously?! Is dancing or singing relevant to the office of the Senate or Congress? What happened to the political platforms that are supposed to be discussed during their meeting de avance or whatsoever gatherings they have to present their motives for their constituents or to their people? Again, majority of the citizens of this country overlook the real motives of the politicians and they will tend to vote for the one who danced or sing during the politicians "show" or they will vote for the one who has catchier jingle on TV. How convenient, right? It’s just another product of their lies.

V. Political Dynasty

And the grandfather of all forms of corruption: The Political Dynasty.

Politics is not just any other business, it's their family business. 

Only in the Philippines will you ever see an entire family holding a position in the government. Somewhere here in this country, residing a family whose father is a senator, the mother is a congressman, the son is the governor, the uncle is the mayor, and so on and so forth. Oh, have you noticed that the daughter of our dear Vice President is now a Senator? Well yes she is, but the question is: is she qualified for the position? Her father said that her edge in the Senate is he is his daughter. Now, that's what I call qualification. This is such a classic example of political dynasty. I'm not against them. I just find it weird that she ran for the said position because "she needs to fill in the gap for their political party" and they are confident that she will win because her edge is that she is "the Vice President's daughter". And guess what, they were right, they won even if she has no strong political platform. I haven't even seen her that much during Senatorial debates and the likes but what can we do, she won without sweat and she's so successful in filling in the gap not just for their political party but for their family as well. Talking about money and power; It is business, right?

Aside from the ones given above, I still do have a lot of sentiments about this devastating situation. How I wish one day this country will wake up and start thinking about what lies ahead. This generation has been installing trash in the political arena and it's getting worse every election. Now that I am coming of age, I still wanted to be hopeful, however, there is a part of me that wants to step back from all my hope for this country and I wanted to say to myself that this could probably it for us. Sometimes it feels like there's no more hope for this country because it looks to me that the majority of the citizens of this country is digging a big hole for all of us. I just hope that we as people will come to a point wherein we all have had enough and start practicing our right to suffrage in a more intellectual way. Looking at the Senatorial and Congressional body, I still see a few good and honest politicians and because of them I am still keeping my hope up. I just hope that it won't be too late for all of us before we realize what this country really needs.